Expectant father research
As you would expect, April and I are pretty excited about the baby. We’ve seen the doctor several times, and each time they test for something, the result are always (thankfully) “negative for (name tested condition).” When they look at vitals, it always falls in the “normal” range. I never thought I would love the words “negative” and “normal” as much as I do right now. I hope this trend continues!
As a scientist, I am trained to do research on the subject I have questions about. In the subject of being the expectant father, I’ve been doing literature research. For most of the week and especially today (slow day at work), I have been looking up literature, and I’m not having much luck. There are a ton of books directed towards expectant mothers, as there should be. What about me, the expectant father? Well, I found a fair number of books but, unfortunately, the local libraries don’t carry any of them. I also don’t have the cash to shell out on a library of books. I have to be selective if I decide to get any, and I do have a potential few picked out. If any fathers out there have a recommendation, please give me a heads up.
Sorry no easy answer to this
I guess that depends on what you are wanting to read up on, I.E. like that to expect during the pregnancy or what to expect after the pregnancy. In most cases the books that the mom-to-be reads (I.E. “What to expect when you are expecting”) is good for the father-to-be to read. Fatherhood oriented books I usually find under three categories: Discipline issues, Social issues, and Spiritual issues. Child development books are gender neutral to the reader, but as for the development of the child will different as boy and girls develop differently. In the end thought the books will never truly get you ready for fatherhood; the best why to learn is by experience and asking those that have children.
JD - I take it that you recommend “What to expect when you’re expecting.” April bought that book, and the parts I’ve read so far are interesting, and is probably good for me to know.
In looking at books on the subject (just on Amazon, so I haven’t actually cracked a book open) there appears to be two types of authors. The Ph.D. authors, who have done studies and are reporting on all sorts of research, and the father author who is documenting their fatherhood experience. Both will have something to offer I assume, but I don’t know yet.
By the way, I assume books on child development are gender neutral because, even though the end results of development are different, environmental factors (how we raise children) will probable have the same type of impact, i.e. positive or negative. Again, I really don’t know.
While I’m not a father, several fathers I know have given a high recommendation to the book “My Boys Can Swim: The official guy’s guide to pregnancy” by Ian Davis. I gave a copy to my boss, and he was almost late for work one morning because it was so funny he forgot to catch his bus.
On a more serious note, “The Birth Partner” by Penny Simkin comes very highly recommended by several doula friends.
When Mark and I get pregnant, these are the books I will get for him.
You might also check out the other books on this page: http://dona.org/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=DB&Category_Code=BBDC
If you get any of these, please let me know how they are.
If I could make a recommendation…
Don’t read anything. Seriously. You will only drive yourself insane. Everything you read will tell you something different and scare the bejesus out of you. If you must read something read ONE book. Just one.
And do not believe anything that you read on the internet.
Hey guys, that is great news about the baby. April, morning sickness is the worst!!! and I am glad to hear that it has passed. I felt dreadful morning, noon and night for what seemed like months, although it was probably only the first 4 months. After that it was better and I had a lot more energy until the very end. I think walking the dog a lot helped keep me fit and healthy, well as fit as you can be carrying a watermelon strapped to your stomach:) Seriously though it will fly by and you will enjoy motherhood. Matt, Chris read the book Fatherhood (cant remember the author), and I don’t think he enjoyed it. A bit too graphic. I took his approach as well though and read very few books and didn’t watch Birthing Stories on cable TV. I thought it was better to be uninformed:) This baby was coming out whether or not I wanted it to or not:)
Take care
Please forgive me if I cause any offense in my last post.
Yes, I do recommend reading “What to expect when you’re expecting” and “What to Expect the First Year.” I think theses two books are very good and full of information.
JD - No offense was caused, and I didn’t mean to imply that there was one. I did want a little clarification. I always welcome and appreciate your thoughts.