The Bauer Confidential

INDIANA JONES: Your name’s Mutt?
MUTT WILLIAMS: Yeah, I choose it. You gotta problem with that?

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull … what a terrible title! It sounds like George Lucas named this movie, and if so he should be banned from ever naming a movie again. The movie, though, isn’t bad. It may be in a close competition with Temple of Doom as the worst Indy movie, but even the worst Indy movie is still tons-o-fun, and better than most other action adventure movies. The movie contains a lot of what Lucas and Spielberg do best, action sequences. Spielberg is arguably a master of the action adventure movie (Jaws, the other Indy Movies, Jurassic Park, etc), and he tried to outdo himself here. The action was innovative and fast paced. But, by focusing so much on action, there were some sacrifices on all other aspects of the movie, i.e. the plot and story. To clarify, the story wasn’t bad; it was simple, fun, had the necessary (but unfortunately few) riddles, and a bit of family drama mixed in. It is the family drama part that I was a bit excited about. I really liked the chemistry between Harrison Ford and Karen Allen from the first Indy movie, and I was looking forward to that reunion. I have to write, I was a bit disappointed. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Karen’s character was feisty and tough, in The Crystal Skull, the writers just had her drive a vehicle most of the movie and didn’t gave her much dialogue. What a waste! Anyway, I guess I should mention the other people in this movie. There is Shia LaBeouf playing more of a sidekick character, and I think he does well for the part given to him. Then there were Cate Blanchett who did an excellent job playing the villainess, and John Hurt as professor Ox. He didn’t have a huge role, but he made the most of it and was great.

This movie’s biggest negative is the same thing that makes this movie fun, the action. In trying to outdo the previous Indy flicks, Spielberg really upped the action, but too much. For the audience to enjoy this type of movie (or most movies really), there must be a willing suspension of disbelief, but the action is so outrageous and totally impossible it broke my suspension and I got terribly annoyed. In addition, the end of the third act of all Indiana Jones movies has a supernatural tone to it. For example, opening up the arc of the convenient (Raiders), the freaky guy that can rip out beating harts (Temple of Doom), or obtaining everlasting life by drinking of the Holy Grail (Last Crusade). In this, Spielberg tried to make an ending that is even more supernatural than the last three, and again he took it too far and made it unconvincing, a bit confusing, and above all, unexciting.

Yah, I know I’m bitching a lot about the negatives of this movie, so why am I saying it’s not a bad movie? Because it’s an Indiana Jones movie and I love the Indiana Jones character. I don’t care what he’s doing, he’s witty, cleaver, tough, and has a Ph.D. He’s also one of the best movie heroes of all time. You can tell Harrison Ford is having lots of fun playing him, and we’re having lots of fun watching. So, not as good as I was hoping, but hey, it’s an Indiana Jones movie, and if you liked the others, you’ll like this one.

From the Last Crusade

PROFESSOR HENRY JONES: …Junior.
INDIANA JONES: I like “Indiana.”
PROFESSOR HENRY JONES: We named the *dog* Indiana.
SALLAH: The dog?
[starts laughing]
SALLAH: You are named after the dog? HA HA HA…!
INDIANA JONES: I’ve got a lot of fond memories of that dog.