The Problem with Pink
I don’t remember ever liking the color pink; at some point, in my teens I think, I began to loathe it. I think my intense dislike for the color pink (especially as it is linked to girls) came from a story someone (I don’t remember who) told me about why we associate girls and boys with pink and blue respectively. They contended that due to ancient Chinese tradition, boys were dressed in blue because it was the color of the sky and royalty, the most expensive and most valuable color, as boys were the most prized. It was the cheapest to dye things pink, and pink was considered a throw-away color, so it was given to girls, as they had little importance. Of course being a feminist I took major issue with this assertion, and vowed not to honor any misogynistic tradition that implied women were inferior to men. So I’ve avoided pink as much as possible since then, I always preferred red anyway and feel it suits me better anyhow. Now that I have a little girl, however, avoiding pink is more or less impossible.
See, Jocelyn doesn't like pink either!
I’ve done a little research and can find nothing on the internet to substantiate the pink/blue association I’ve resented for so many years. I actually found that prior to the 1920’s the traditional colors for boys and girls were the reverse of what is considered the norm in Western cultures today. Pink being a lighter shade of red, a power color, was more suited to boys, while blue was more dainty for little girls (and also associated with the Virgin Mary). One site even claimed that the association of pink with girls can be traced back to Nazi Germany and their assignment of pink triangles to homosexuals in concentration camps. So it seems that pink as a girls’ color isn’t inherently sexist. And yet I find our society’s intense need to dress little girls in pink a little disturbing. Every time I dress Jocelyn in something other than pink (green, yellow, turquoise, even lilac) people ask me about my little boy. OK, so little girls are associated with pink, fine, but why do boys get every other color (maybe lavender is usually accepted as a girls color). Boys get all the primary colors, any dark color, and definitely black. When I was pregnant and looking at baby things I was always a bit saddened by the fact that there seem to be so many more choices for boys. For little girls you get pastel colors, flowers, and few baby animals like bunnies and kitties. Boys get everything else, everything bold, spaceships, puppies, trains. It’s totally not fair.
We asked our good friends and close family to resist the urge to buy Jocelyn pink things, if at all possible. We’ve still got a fair amount of pink stuff, but by and large people have been really helpful trying to find us non-pink clothes and toys. I guess the real issue is, since babies look so much alike no matter their sex, why do we feel the urge to shoe-horn them into their gender “appropriate” colors from birth? With my new-found knowledge of the history of gender specific colors I won’t stop putting Jocelyn in non-girly clothes, but I’m going to give pink a little more slack. Jocelyn looks pretty sweet in pink, but then again, I think she looks pretty sweet no matter what.
She is such a sweetie!
I also hate pink, but not because of feminist values (although that’s the reason I’ll use from now on) but because I always felt I looked uggy in pink. I much prefer the colour blue.
Boys may have more fun patterns but have you ever noticed how much more space is devoted to girls and their pretty outfits in children’s clothing outlets? I found this quite frustrating at first – the boy stuff always seemed to be much more picked over. So I guess it all balances out and no mommy is happy.
I agree – I’ve always hated pink. My mom hated pink and never dressed me in it – I think mostly because she didn’t think I looked good in it. I get turned off by all the princess pink stuff that my nieces wear. I think baby boy clothes are cuter than the girl stuff (but maybe I’m biased!). I love the bugs, the lions, the primary colors of Kyle’s clothes. I too will agree that there are always twice as many girl clothes than boys in stores. It always seems that whatever size we are looking for is extremely picked over. Jocelyn is a cutie! Happy Birthday (late) April!
I think you’re both right, that there are more clothes for girls, but they’re all so similar there might as well not be. It’s all pink! The volume for boys is less but the variety is more and not so demeaning in my opinion!
Thanks for the birthday wishes Amy!
Pink looks beautiful on little baby girls. Blue looks great on little boys. I have both. Garage saleing and just regular shopping for boys clothing is a lot harder and almost everything is either jungle or sports related. The girls clothing is adorable and the pink and purples make every baby girl look just beautiful! And so much accessories! You can really dress up a little girl. Boys get stuck with sweater vests and the likes…. I say you enjoy the pink while she will still look adorable in it and still wear it! Elsa loves pink! I don’t think its sexist in ANY way. She looks great in it and she loves it. Reagan looks great in blue now but when she was a baby it was purple all the time. And she has yet to pick a fav color.
I don’t think butterflies and kittens and cupcakes are demeaning! These are just things that little girls are naturally attracted to! You will see when she gets bigger that although you may push for her not to be so girlie maybe push her towards more boyish toys, that she would much rather play tea party and be in the pink aisle(as we call it) then anything else. Let her be girlie! She will grow into her own likes and dislikes.
Boys naturally want to play war games and girls naturally want to play with dolls and babies and kittens and everything pink. If it wasn’t true then there wouldn’t be the pink aisle and my girls wouldn’t drive me crazy every time we were in a store. Believe me…..i Have three little sisters and two little princesses now! My own father tried to push me towards the boyish things. While I could climb trees and go camping with the boys easily, I LOVED playing house, barbies, dress up, and wearing pretty dresses. I still love getting dolled up and all the things that come naturally to every girl/woman!
So chill on it, and just enjoy the time you have to doll her up. Some of my best memories are of me and the girls sitting around painting toenails pink!
Steph: I think you’re right, you can’t force little girls to not be girly, it’s in our brain chemistry. You might enjoy this book “The Female Brain” that I read for book club and reviewed a while back. http://www.bauerconfidential.com/2008/11/10/book-review-the-female-brain-by-louann-brizendine/
One story I remember the most from the book was about a little girl whose mother was trying very hard not to impose gender stereotypes on her so she wouldn’t buy her dolls. One day the mother found the little girl playing with a fire-engine, she had wrapped it up in a blanket and was cradling it like a baby saying “It’s OK truckie, don’t cry.” For the most part, women are just wired that way. It’s a fine line between nurturing our inherent female qualities and imposing gender roles. I just want Jocelyn to be happy, so if she decides one day she only wants to wear pink, I’ll be fine with that, and she can have toys from “the pink aisle.” But you can’t blame me if I buy her a microscope or chemistry set (those were my favorites when I was about 10).