The Bauer Confidential

Spending quality couple time is a serious challenge when little ones come along, so when such an opportunity is arranged, the hopes are high.  Matthew and I hadn’t had a “date” in many, many months, so with the romantic holiday coming up, we thought it would be nice to get someone to watch Jocelyn and go out and do something together, an afternoon at the movies sounded nice.

If you’re making the effort and incurring the expense, you want to pick a movie that will benefit from a large screen showing.  Naturally we chose Avatar 3D.  About an hour into the movie, I started to feel unwell, my stomach was tying up in knots and my head was pounding.  I tried taking off the 3D glasses, not watching, but I had to leave the theater.  Now a movie ticket in Cali is crazy expensive, even a matinee, so I decided after a breather, to head back in to the show.  I didn’t watch much, didn’t put on the glasses, but after about another hour (it’s a long movie), I had to run out of the theater.  I’ll spare you the details, they weren’t pretty, and I think I scared a bunch of ladies in the restroom.  I couldn’t text Matthew because my phone was in my purse under the seat in the theater, along with my wallet and gum, which I so could have used at that point.  So I went and waited in the lobby, as long as I could before I was afraid Matthew might think I was dead and come looking for me, then I went back in for the last 10 minutes.  I don’t think I’ve ever been so glad to see credits role in my life.

To Matthew’s credit, he kept suggesting we go, but I didn’t want to ruin our afternoon, I didn’t want to make him leave the first movie he’d gone out to in six months.  In the end, though, my determination to stick it out made things much worse.  If we’d left, we could have just enjoyed our afternoon together, instead of me praying to the porcelain gods and Matthew worrying about me.  I’ve suffered from minor motion sickness before, flying, windy roads, but never at the movies.  I’ve seen other movies in 3D, though none as motion-intense as Avatar.  Turns out the not wearing the glasses thing, which I thought would be helpful, probably made things worse, causing my brain to be even more confused by what it was seeing but not feeling.

When we got home, I did a bit of research.  Turns out a lot of people had similar reactions.  Motion sickness is a quirk of our anatomy, an unfortunate side effect of biology.  Kinetosis, or motion sickness, is caused when there is a disconnect between the stimulatory signals received by your brain.  When flying, your body feels you moving, but your eyes do not perceive the motion, confusing your noggin; in a 3D movie, it’s the opposite problem, your eyes tell your brain you’re flying through an alien world, but your inner ear is saying you’re simply sitting in a seat in a theater.   These conflicting inputs cause your body to conclude you are under the influence of a toxin; by vomiting you might be able to expel any toxin that’s still in your stomach before it affects you further.  Great for poisons in the jungle, not so great for 3D movies.

After our less than stellar attempt at romance, we spent the actual holiday doing family activities.  We took Jocelyn to the Little Farm at Tilden Park; she was interested, if a bit frightened of the strangers and huge animals.  Later in the day, we went to the tot park and pushed Jocelyn on the swings.  All my disappointment over our previous-day’s outing evaporated as she laughed with glee when flying through the air.  You see, baby smiles and laughter are addictive to parents, they stimulate the reward centers in your brain, much as drugs do.  So here it is, my own personal perfect drug.

P.S.  I hope you’ll forgive me for getting a little photoshop happy with the last image, I loved Jocelyn’s smile in it, but as she was moving, the focus was a bit blurry, I did some extreme sharpening and ended up with this, which I thought was pretty groovy.

Bruce Wayne: I knew the mob wouldn’t go down without a fight. But this is different. They crossed the line.
Alfred Pennyworth : You crossed the line first, sir. You squeezed them, you hammered them. And in their desperation they turned to a man they didn’t fully understand.

So, April and I finally went and saw The Dark Knight.  I kind of wanted to see it, but after a bazillion positive reviews, my expectations were soaring.  Did it live up to my expectations?  Well, yes.  Overall, the movie is really good to great (Note: we watched it in IMAX, and it was worth the extra dough).  It is as dark as they say, both thematically and most cases literally.  It was really difficult to appreciate the fight scenes with Batman who’s in a dark room, at night, with our protagonist wearing the trademarked black cape and cowl.

First of all the story, which plays around questions about morality, and should or would we break our own (or societies) moral code to do something we believe is good (or to save our own neck).  Would we kill someone, out of cold blood, if it meant saving ten to hundreds of people later?  The hypothetical answer will undoubtedly be different from what we would actually do if it were real.  This movie tries very hard to make those situations real, and we get to see what our protagonist does.  Will the joker succeed in pushing the good guys/gals over that moral edge?  I really liked the story, and it gave me something to ponder when the movie was over.  Because these are complicated issues and because this version of the Joker can be bit scary, I agree with this complaint about the marketing campaign.  This movie should not be advertised to kids, and maybe should have a bit more restrictive rating than PG-13.

I’ll talk about the acting in a moment (hint, I liked it), but I wanted to make it clear that this movie is far from perfect or the best film ever, as the fan boys would want you to believe (look at the artificially inflated high IMDB rating). The movie flows fast, but not extremely well.  There are some really exceptional action sequences, and the movie held me in suspense and kept me at the edge of my seat near the end.  Full bladder be damned, I wasn’t missing a beat!  The Dark Knight is a fairly dense movie, and you would think that two and half hours is plenty of time to tell their story, but it isn’t.  The movie-makers crammed a lot of plot devices and story elements into the two and half hours, so the movie has to move at a fast pace.  One (albeit small) problem I had was at about 2/3rds into the movie, the story takes a dramatic turn, divides your attention, and then the pace, which I didn’t think was possible, sped up.   The second problem is that the writer/director, in order to shove all of the necessary scenes into the movie, he kept skipping a lot of story elements.  If this happened once or twice, I might let it slide (or more likely just not notice), but it happened way to many times (hence, I noticed).  So, as the few negative reviewers pointed out, it can appear to some as a muddled mess.  Honestly, it didn’t bother me all that much, but it’s noticeable. Other negative reviewers didn’t like the dialogue so much, because in the last third, the joker gets a bit talky.  Monologuing as some may call it.  I didn’t really notice this, so I guess it didn’t bother me.

Now to the acting, which is really good.  Since Heath Ledger’s death, people were hoping that this last full movie he acted in would be great.  Expectations were unnaturally high, and his performance didn’t disappoint.  Every scene he’s in, he owns.  In fact, this could be his best performance of his short career.  As a fan of film, this is a bit sad.  If you look at just a few of his movies, lets say something silly like 10 Things I Hate About You, or A Knight’s Tale, and then look more serious films like Brokeback Mountain and now The Dark Knight, leaves plenty of evidence of both his range, his talent, and his potential to be even better. I believe that even if Ledger didn’t O.D. on prescription drugs, people would still be talking about his potential Oscar nomination.  Unfortunately, the increased focus on Ledger, distracts people from Aaron Eckhart’s superb performance as Harvey Dent.  Where as ledger had a very complicated task of transforming himself into a convincing psychopathic mad man, (pure evil through and through), Aaron Eckhart*, as Harvey Dent, had the complicated task of taking his character through a very large emotional swing, and I found him to be as convincing as anyone could be with what little time and dialogue he had to play with.  He probably will be overlooked at Oscar time, but he deserves a bit more recognition for his work here.  As for the rest of the cast, they’re good for what was given to them.  Christian Bale is a good Batman, but he didn’t have a lot to work with here.  Batman Begins sets up Batman’s back story, so in this movie, there wasn’t much of an emotion struggle, he just got to be dark and mysterious the whole time.  Bale is a great Bruce Wayne.  Gary Oldman is terrific as commissioner Gordon.  Maggie Gyllenhaal is a good actress, but isn’t given much to work with here.  Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman make the most of what they get, including some of the best lines in the movie.

Overall:  This movie is dark, thought provoking, fun to watch, and an exceptional movie.  If I gave a star rating, I would be 5/5.

* If you want to see another movie in which Aaron Ekhardt does a fantastic job, watch Thank You For Smoking.  It’s a really good movie!

It was the 4th of July, and all of our family and friends are, well, not here in California.  April and I decided to go see WALL-E, and so did about everyone else in town.  I must have forgotten that Independence Day was such a big movie day.  Here is my take on the movie:

Pixar has generated another gem of a movie with WALL-E, arguably one of the best movies Pixar has produced since “The Incredibles,” if not ever.  This movie works as both 1) a sci-fi movie, with a thoughtful story about the effects of complacency, and 2) a cute and adorable romantic movie.  If you can believe that robots have personalities and can fall in love, than you might really love this movie.  The story is strong and somewhat deep, but it works only because the animation is really good.  I mean really, really fantastic.  For example, the movies main robot characters don’t talk, so to convey emotion, the animators have to do a terrific job anthropomorphizing these robots, and they succeed tremendously.

For those who want to know what the movie is about, well here it goes.  We have WALL-E (Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class), a robot whose directive is to clean up earth.  Humans have consumed and polluted the planet to the point that the place has became unlivable so they decided to pack it up and live in an enormous spaceship.  While they’re gone, they leave behind an army of robots to clean up the place, and when they’re done, the humans will return.  Now, 700 years removed, most of the robots have broken down, leaving only one lonely robot to do the work, and work he does.  He compiles trash, compacts it into cubes and piles them higher than most skyscrapers.  During his workday, he collects objects that he finds intriguing, including an old VHS tape of “Hello Dolly,” and watching the people dance and fall in love makes WALL-E long for some sort of contact.  His only companion, and only living creature on the planet it appears, is a cockroach because I assume they can survive any disaster.

The movie eventually moves to the enormous spaceship, because having two non-speaking robots on a lonely planet will only entertain for so long.  We eventually need some sort of conflict.  Here, the romance story is pushed to the back and we enter into a more of A Brave New World type of universe in which robots tend to humans’ every need, and feed their happiness.  Humans have become so self-absorbed in their own happiness, that they become unaware of everything else.  The story shifts a bit to the ships captain, who is awakened to his surroundings and becomes excited when he learns about the history and potential earth could offer him (and the rest of humanity), and WALL-E, along with his “love” interest EVE (Extra-terrestrial Vegetation Evaluator), gives him a reason to return.   It is an interesting story line with a strong message.  Eventually, both stories cross, and WALL-E becomes the most lovable character Pixar has ever dreamed up.

Alternate Title: “He said tenders!”

So Matthew usually writes the movie reviews, partially because lately there has not been much at the movies that has interested me.  For the past several months, every movie we’ve seen in the theater has been because Matthew really wanted to see it.  Don’t get me wrong, they’ve been enjoyable movies.  It’s just that special effects and a cursory story aren’t enough to make me wanna drop serious change on a two hour flick.  I will often give in to a weekend matinee, however, to keep the man happy.

This past weekend Northern California experienced a gratuitous heat wave.  Since we don’t have air-conditioning at home, and didn’t want to spend all day Saturday in lab, we decided to stay cool Saturday afternoon by catching a film.  Since all the new movies for the weekend looked horrid, we chose Kung Fu Panda.  I felt a little silly, going to see a kids movie on a weekend afternoon.  I figured the theater would be full of kids, running up and down the aisles screaming.  I could not have been more wrong.  There was a grand total of one child in the entire theater (it was a small theater, but still).  She was a cute little girl, I’m guessing around five, and she provided some of the most entertaining moments of the movie.  As the movie began, the little girl told her father, in a very grown up voice, how she’d been wanting to see this movie “for a very long time.”  When the panda appeared on the screen she exclaimed “It’s a Panda!!!” with glee (this is probably funnier to Matthew and I because of this comic).  A bit later in the movie when the Panda was getting his fluffy butt kicked by his teacher, the panda shouted “Oh, my tenders!” when he received a swift blow to the groin, to which the little girl replied “He said tenders!”  The entire theater cracked up, not at the movie, but at the little girl.  That was pretty much all we heard out of her, which was far less than the bunch of doped-up college kids sitting across the aisle who laughed so hard at the non-funny parts that we couldn’t hear a lot of the movie.

I suppose I should get to the movie review part of this entry.  The truth is, there’s not a lot to say.  If you’ve seen the previews or commercials for this movie then you know exactly what it’s about and you won’t get any surprises.  Our unlikely hero Po is chosen to be the dragon warrior, which surprises everyone, including his begrudging new mentor and fellow fighters.  Po must find a way to defeat the evil warrior who is coming to steal the secrets of Kung Fu and destroy the village. It’s your typical DreamWorks movie, not as good as the original Shrek but better than Flushed Away.  The voices are done well; with the exception of  Jack Black, you might not even register any of the other famous voices filling out the cast, like Dustin Hofman, Jacky Chan, and Angelina Jolie.  Funny and up-lifting for the kiddies, Kung Fu Panda has just enough humor aimed at the adults to keep them laughing.

INDIANA JONES: Your name’s Mutt?
MUTT WILLIAMS: Yeah, I choose it. You gotta problem with that?

Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull … what a terrible title! It sounds like George Lucas named this movie, and if so he should be banned from ever naming a movie again. The movie, though, isn’t bad. It may be in a close competition with Temple of Doom as the worst Indy movie, but even the worst Indy movie is still tons-o-fun, and better than most other action adventure movies. The movie contains a lot of what Lucas and Spielberg do best, action sequences. Spielberg is arguably a master of the action adventure movie (Jaws, the other Indy Movies, Jurassic Park, etc), and he tried to outdo himself here. The action was innovative and fast paced. But, by focusing so much on action, there were some sacrifices on all other aspects of the movie, i.e. the plot and story. To clarify, the story wasn’t bad; it was simple, fun, had the necessary (but unfortunately few) riddles, and a bit of family drama mixed in. It is the family drama part that I was a bit excited about. I really liked the chemistry between Harrison Ford and Karen Allen from the first Indy movie, and I was looking forward to that reunion. I have to write, I was a bit disappointed. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Karen’s character was feisty and tough, in The Crystal Skull, the writers just had her drive a vehicle most of the movie and didn’t gave her much dialogue. What a waste! Anyway, I guess I should mention the other people in this movie. There is Shia LaBeouf playing more of a sidekick character, and I think he does well for the part given to him. Then there were Cate Blanchett who did an excellent job playing the villainess, and John Hurt as professor Ox. He didn’t have a huge role, but he made the most of it and was great.

This movie’s biggest negative is the same thing that makes this movie fun, the action. In trying to outdo the previous Indy flicks, Spielberg really upped the action, but too much. For the audience to enjoy this type of movie (or most movies really), there must be a willing suspension of disbelief, but the action is so outrageous and totally impossible it broke my suspension and I got terribly annoyed. In addition, the end of the third act of all Indiana Jones movies has a supernatural tone to it. For example, opening up the arc of the convenient (Raiders), the freaky guy that can rip out beating harts (Temple of Doom), or obtaining everlasting life by drinking of the Holy Grail (Last Crusade). In this, Spielberg tried to make an ending that is even more supernatural than the last three, and again he took it too far and made it unconvincing, a bit confusing, and above all, unexciting.

Yah, I know I’m bitching a lot about the negatives of this movie, so why am I saying it’s not a bad movie? Because it’s an Indiana Jones movie and I love the Indiana Jones character. I don’t care what he’s doing, he’s witty, cleaver, tough, and has a Ph.D. He’s also one of the best movie heroes of all time. You can tell Harrison Ford is having lots of fun playing him, and we’re having lots of fun watching. So, not as good as I was hoping, but hey, it’s an Indiana Jones movie, and if you liked the others, you’ll like this one.

From the Last Crusade

PROFESSOR HENRY JONES: …Junior.
INDIANA JONES: I like “Indiana.”
PROFESSOR HENRY JONES: We named the *dog* Indiana.
SALLAH: The dog?
[starts laughing]
SALLAH: You are named after the dog? HA HA HA…!
INDIANA JONES: I’ve got a lot of fond memories of that dog.

Went and saw Iron Man last Saturday, and it’s not as good as Spider-Man 2, which I think might be the best superhero movie I’ve ever seen, but Iron man should rank up there. I only say this because of Robert Downy Jr., who makes this movie lots of fun and does a wonderful job of taking campy one-liners and making them sound more authentic. The movie is about Tony Stark (played by the aforementioned Robert Downy Jr.), the playboy owner of the weapons manufacturing company, Stark Industries. He is also a certified genius, who built his first integrated circuit board by the time he was four and went to MIT at the age of 15. So, he knows his engineering. The movie starts with Tony Stark going to Afghanistan to demonstrate Stark Industries newest weapon, Jericho, to the U.S. military. While there, some sort of guerrilla/terrorist force attacks his convoy, killing everyone and kidnapping Stark. Once the guerrilla/terrorist force recognized they have Stark, they give him an ultimatum, build the Jericho for them or die. It’s obvious that the guerrillas/terrorist have never seen 1980’s American T.V., especially MacGyver or the A-Team. You know the formula; the hero is captured and put in a room full of equipment and parts to make something to attack the people that kidnapped you and put you in the room in the first place. Anyway, this is just the beginning of the movie and is a critical part of the movie’s story, which is built around who Stark is and how his ordeal in Afghanistan changes him. How his conscience begins to change and see the world in a different light. The first half of the movie is very much character driven, and the second half is all special effects. The dry humor Downy puts into his role helps the film in the slow spots, but the bad guy is kind of lame, the fight scene between the Iron Man and the bad guy could have been better, and I still not sure if the ending made much sense. Even with those negatives this movie, given it’s a superhero movie, surpassed my expectation, and due to the well done special effects I’m glad I saw it on the big screen.

Yesterday April and I went to our favorite theater to watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which turned out to be a fun and creative movie about a man who has lost all happiness and is striving to find it again. It is also an rated R comedy, which means that many (but not all) of the jokes are of an adult nature, with references to sex or male/female genitalia. Movies usually employ this maneuver for shock value, to distract you from a bad movie. Not this one. The writing is smart and funny. The characters are strong, and the acting was surprisingly good as was first time director Nicholas Stoller. The story is about a Peter Bretter (Jason Segel, who is also wrote the spec), a music composer for a popular T.V. series starring his celebrity girlfriend Sarah Marshall (Kristen Bell of Veronica Mars fame). The story begins with Sarah breaking up their relationship and Peter not taking it all too well, falling into severe depression and hiding his pain with a series on one night stands. Of course this doesn’t alleviate his despair, so his stepbrother (SNL’s Bill Hader) convinces him to take a vacation to Hawaii. Hopefully the relaxation and distraction will help him to get over his ex. Of course, that turns out to be difficult because at that same resort, Sarah Marshall and her new London Rocker boyfriend Aldous Snow (Russlle Brand) have also decided to vacation. To add to the story is Rachel Jansen (Mila Kunis from That 70’s Show), the potential new love interest if only Peter can move on from his ex. There are also many other unique and fun characters resulting in every scene being fun to watch. The story is predictable, and the ending we all hope for does happen, but as with life, it is about the journey, and our main character experiences a journey not often seen in cinema. This is the type of movie that we get exactly what we expect. If there is anything negative about this movie is that there are too many full frontal naked shots of Jason Segel. The first time, it was for shock value, but after that it became unnecessary.

On a broader note, since the release of The 40 Year Old Virgin, Judd Apatow has created a whole new niche in movies that is the male driven romantic comedy. Before Apatow, most romantic movies have an emotionally calm and controlled male lead with a female lead that wears her emotions on her sleeve (as the saying goes). This creates a story that explores the inner emotional workings of women. Judd Apatow movies are role reversals in which the story explores the inner emotional workings of men. This is good because a story can be created to explore something that has been mostly taboo previously, the emotional male. In another sense, this could be bad because women seem to have few quality roles in movies recently and these kind of movies dwindle that number even more, but these movies are fun and highly successful and we should expect many more of them.